What has your stuff done for you lately?

What are we so attached to our stuff?

We spend a lifetime collecting it: filling first our toy-box, then our room, our computer, our car, and eventually our homes with it. When our homes begin overflowing, we fill the garage and if we run out of room there, we pay the storage industry to stock more of it.

Sometimes we toss it. Or we sort it. There's a whole other industry set up now to help you declutter and organise your stuff. Occasionally we recycle it. But mostly, once we've tossed and decluttered our stuff, we go and get more. New stuff.

And it gets worse. We collect stuff in our minds. Painful thoughts about the past. Worries about the future. Concerns about the debt we've accumulated from buying all of our stuff.

Why?

Stop what you're doing, and start paying attention

A friend of mine (also a psychologist) dropped by my place last week to grab something I'd borrowed from her a while back. As she got out of the car, simultaneously waving at me, ending a chat with someone on her mobile phone, recalling what errands were next on her list and trying to put up her umbrella, she joked that she was mindful of her brain being scattered in a dozen different directions. Sound familiar?

Psychologists talk about mindfulness a lot... it's been proven to be a highly effective practice in reducing stress, managing anxiety, dealing with chronic pain and a host of other things. For those of you who have never heard the term much less have the foggiest what it means, I'll explain: simply put, mindfulness is about focusing your attention in the present moment. You may argue that your attention is focused right now on the words you're reading. That's awesome, but to really be mindful, the challenge is to try and become aware of not just the words you're seeing on the screen, but of the thoughts generated in your mind, the sensations going on in your body, the sounds around you, the emotions you feel... Basically every rich piece of information that is available to you from outside of you in your environment, and within your own mind and body. 

A slow weekend

I found myself yearning to slow down this past weekend. Last week was crazy busy: a blur of appointments, unexpected visitors, work deadlines, a sick toddler and tearful goodbyes as The Wrecker departed for one of his long stints away in Japan.


Is it any wonder that once the waves of chaos receded, I pulled out some cookbooks and began to bake. I felt the stresses of the week and my mental to-do list fade away as I got lost in the kneading of dough, the slicing of apples, and the smells of cake and baguettes drifting through the house.


What is it about food, not just the eating of it, but the chopping, mixing, and cooking, that has such a meditative effect on us? The psychologist in me has a few theories: it's the ultimate way of caring for the body and (given our lifelong conditioning) the soul; it requires some level of focus, which by default means we're mindful, rather than thinking about the to-do list, or yesterday's bills; it slows us down; enables us to be creative, productive, methodical. For me, the real reward comes from choosing to do something that takes me out of my head for a while and into my body and my senses. Even better, it's an activity that isn't a have to. It's not like I was rushing to finish the evening meal (although I could have easily sat down to a plate of cake for dinner!) And I shared it, allowing others to enjoy what I had made. What better way to channel a week of stress into something really positive, with the people I love?

Who Am I? Really?

I have a confession to make. 


Ever since Miss Pink entered my world two years ago, I have grappled with my identity. Who am I? Mummy Debbie? Career Debbie? Wife Debbie? Gym Debbie? (actually that last one's a bit of a joke fantasy.. Gym Debbie never really gets much of a look-in. Walking-Outdoors Debbie is more my style). 


Has this happened to you? A significant life event has left you reeling from the changes it brings, and you try to grasp the scattered pieces of your life, of your self, and put them back into some sort of order?